An Old Glory

This story from today's Washington Times emphasizes the incongruity between America as a concept and the reality. Most Americans see this country as a force for good and a beacon of hope. This callous and racist display of lack of human kindness during such a dire time of need is one of many such instances where the facade of a "good America" is once again tarnished by the stark reality of what America truly stands for.

There are moments when I want to be a patriot. I really do. On the Fourth of July I stand with all the rest, my head back and my eyes bright, the dazzling display of fireworks mirrored on my face and I listen to the songs (America the Beautiful and the Star Spangled Banner) and I think, this country has such promise. If it truly realized all that it professes to be, then I could be a patriot. I could stand and salute the flag and not just with my middle finger. I could wear red, white and blue without a trace of irony. I could actually stand with my hand over my heart and recite the pledge of allegiance instead of citing the doctrine of Separation of Chuch and State in my head.

I want to be a patriot. But American patriotism draws the wrong boundaries and ties me to people who embody evil while separating me from those who share my interests. Fools take it up to support their foolishness, murderers take it up to defend their acts of murder, caring people take it up to justify their complicity in a destructive system.

Making my point better than I ever could is this example of true American Patriotism. Someone tore down our American flag. I know that sounds like the beginning of one of those awful folksy/country/crappy songs gracing every radio station and tribute show after 9/11, but it's true. We have a flag that flies above our garage (I guess "had" is the accurate term now.) Our garage is an historic building in the town we live in and the flag came with). It's not really "our" flag. It belonged to the previous owners of our house and to the town before that. We're not "flag people" if you want to know the truth as we've seen too much of the underbelly of this country to run around spouting patriotic nonsense and waving the flag around. Nevertheless, it was, essentially, our flag and this violent act upset me more than I would have imagined it would. My husband just yesterday mentioned that he was going to lower to flag to fly half-staff in honor of the Hurricane Katrina victims as well as for 9/11. Unfortunately, he never got the chance. Some eager and I'm sure truly patriotic person took it upon himself (yes, I'm making a gender call here) to enter onto our property and not only lower the flag, but take it down completely and unceremoniously throw it in a heap on the side of the garage. Granted, this particular flag is probably 40 years old, and the years showed. My husband and I discussed taking it down, but then reconsidered. In some ways, this flag truly represented America to us. A symbol of something that never truly was. The idea was great, but in reality, it was just a dirty, faded and tattered idol.

However, I would love to talk to the upstanding citizen who did this just to get his take on the whole thing. If he was so upset that we hadn't yet lowered the flag, then he was welcomed to knock on the door and mention it. Granted, if he was so overcome by emotion that he absolutely had to act out and do it himself not being able to bear seeing the Stars and Bars so disrespected, then fine. I am not crazy about the idea, and if I had seen him doing it he probably would have gotten a kick in the pants. But okay. Yet, if he was so incensed by the idea of this battered and torn flag flying on such a tragic day that he had to tear it down completely, why throw it in a pile of trash on the ground? That is the patent hypocrisy hidden under the thin skein of American patriotism that I just cannot stomach. I mean there is a way to retire an old flag and I would imagine a true patriot would know that! I mean, c'mon, even I know that and I'm not a patriot.

I was as horrified at the events of September 11th as many others. Yet I can't muster that "flag waving" behavior that others do. Probably because I have yet to dig into any period of American history without finding real nastiness at every turn. I am upset that the massacres of Native Americans, the slave trade, the Japanese internment and other such events have been normalized to the degree that commentators can claim that the flag stands for the "good America and not the bad America" rather than the whole catastrophic package.

When I think of the good things that Americans do and have done, I feel a connection not to a national entity but to all those people around the world who exemplify the magic and mystery of being human. Until this country can stamp out the duplicity of the Catholic church elders, the emotional, intellectual apathy and violence of the educational system, and the political motives behind the Iraq War (and everything the Republicans stand for) it will never come close to its potential. Thus, for me, the flag will forever remain a tattered ruin.